Scandal in the Land of Rob

Shocking news has arrived in the Land of Rob, and panic has spread across its whole breadth and width. Reports have been confirmed that Santa Claus has made a speech to children across the world, telling them complete and utter lies about the nature of the Land of Rob. Claus has been reported as saying such things as "don't go to the Land of Rob", which is a completely outrageous suggestion. If you disagree, report to Rob for an appropriate prison sentence.

Other parts of his speech include a positively disgusting recommendation for children to not submit to Rob's promises of free candy, and instead continue to respect their parents in place of Rob, who should - of course - be their father.

This madness must be stopped at once. If anybody has information on the current location of Claus, or any idea as to where he might be, report to Rob immediately, or pay an appropriate fine.

We have received several testimonials from some of the poor, devastated children to whom the Red Demon (newly established official name of Santa Claus under Rob's Official Dictionary) gave his speeches. So as not to compromise people's privacy, we reproduce them only with Rob's permission.
"I couldn't believe my young ears when Santa started speaking to me about the Land of Rob in a bad way. I am English, and naturally have every intention of rebelling against my parents and living under Rob in his glorious Land. Santa Claus must be stopped before he does something even worse. I am a real person; ask Rob, and he will show you this photo to prove that this is not a hoax, before having you shot for doubting him."






"I am disgraced by Santa's shameful hate-tactics, as well! I shall not reveal my true identity, but, as you can see, I am in fact Captain R, hero to children everywhere. Well, I'm here to tell all my fellow children that the Land of Rob is cool, and Santa Claus is not."

So, there you have it. What more proof do you need? Of course, you never needed any proof, at least unless you're a criminal.

I am, of course, the same Brins as the very one who writes for his own blog here, so you can trust me as well.