News in the Land of Rob. The events when they happen brought to you by Rob's team, live.

An update of news in the lovely dictatorship of Rob.

In Rob Ville today a large amount of dust was spotted lurking. When questioned, the mole men of doom gave no answer. Could this mean that they are to blame? Are they planning something big right under our noses? Or am I just being silly? Only time will tell.

In sport the death match between Rob and Bob was called off today when Rob relised just how dumb an idea this sport was. The death match was changed into a simple arm wressle. After lossing to Bob, Rob instantly showed just how great a leader he is by claiming victory for himself and torture to those who thought otherwise.

In other news, we questioned the people of Rob for their views on their homes being destroyed to make way for a large stone which shall be carved into a large statue of Rob. "Here are their views: "Well I think I speak for everyone here when I call this plan a big pile of niceness." "The people here do want to leave their homes which they have lived in their entire lives. They will not be making a stand against this act of greatness."
Yes you can feel the joy here as people walk arm in arm with the army out of their homes. They must want to travel light for they seem to be dancing with joy as their goods are smash on the street and their houses burnt. I tell you it's times like these you are glad to live in this country.

Yes indeed it was another happy day in this lovely perfect country where everyone's happy.

This is the story of Sid, who one day woke up to find out that he had become a large head.


Sid had fallen asleep one night slightly more early than most nights. This night was just like any other night, nothing unusual in any way except Sid's sudden urge to sleep. And as he did he felt no different in anyway to any other times he had slept. It all seemed quite normal until it happened.

He open his eyes to face the sun shinning down on him instead of his room light, trees surounding him instead of his walls, grass in place of the floor and sky to replace his roof. Sid blinked. Was this real? Had he somehow awoken in this strange place?

It seemed too real to be a dream so he decided to explore this new environment but in doing so he descovered a new problem. He could hardly walk and it seemed that he was standing. Something wasn't right with his body, for now awake he could see what had happened. Sid had become a giant head. Oh the shame, such a large nose too.

Such was he engaged in this new turn of events that he almost missed what happened next. He could hardly believe his eyes, but with all that had happened this seemed to be the enevitable thing to happen. What he saw was a large pig walking by him humming merrily.
The pig looked up at Sid's new apearence and laughed. "I see it happened to you too," he chuckled. "I know I'm a pig but a giant head, now that is new."

Sid was confused. This whole place didn't make sense. "Where am I?" He whimmpered slightly and the pig (seeing this) chuckled again.

"Why this is The Land of Rob," he raised his nose and grunted to reveal the world as it was. "We all come here at some point and become some kind of strange being for which there is no reason."

Sid stared at his new, sort of friend. "This doesn't make any sense," he said.

The pig smiled again, "it's not meant to, but you have to see the wise one to find out what your purpose here is."

"The wise one?" Sid asked falling deeper into confusion.

"Yes this clock that has a picture of a cat on it."

"How's that wise?"

"Just is. Now I must warn you that you are about to witness a world of extreme randomness and nonsense." He paused for a moment. "Ah we are here."

"Where?"

"At the wise one." And as he said that a large house like shaped thing mooed it's way into the scene. It turned round to show a large clock with a picture of a cat on it like the pig had described. This is just the begining of the story of the giant head as he explores the weird and quite odd world of Rob. Look out for part two, things are about to get random.

THE OTHER PARTS WILL BE FOUND IN TALES FROM ROB, OUT NOW.

News in the Land of Rob. The events when they happen brought to you by Rob's team, live.

COLD, SO COLD, THE SNOW.


The days are growing colder in the Land of Rob. Through the blizzards and the winter storms that attacked the building where Rob lived. Trees were lost to the storm's might, whole cities were ripped down as the weather became more hostile. Many left powerless, many without homes, and poor Rob left with nothing. Although, that's what could have happened.

Really there was no storm and that's what worries Rob at this time. What? Why are you looking at me like that? This is serious. There was no storm and yet you tell me to "be quiet?"

Yes it is true. Winter has hit this place so hard that it brought about a disastor so terrible, so cruel, so...erm, give me a chance here. Erm... I think that may be enough for now.

In other news, things happened, erm... ok nothing happened in the land of Rob, are you happy!!

Cat of Rob found guilty in court of Rob. (This is a lot of nonsense I know).



After a hard day being Rob, Rob returned to find his life changed forever. His four legged friend (or to be more accuratly, four legged fiend) was caught on camera doing something leaving a mess for Rob to clear up. Look below.








The crime of leaving hair on Rob's bed was frowned apon in the court this day. The judge critised this act in his opening speech, "The act of molting takes place in the warmer months of the year." Of course in defence the cat claimed: "Meow" then began to purr loudly which could not be stopped even after a great amount of attention given to him.










The court found the cat guilty and gave him the penitly of eating nothing but cat food. To this the cat replied by licking himself. When given this food, the cat showed his true colours by eating it quickly and looking pleased afterwards to the shock of the court. The cat left the court room trying to hide from the press.

From this computer (and severial others) in this small white room (yes and others), Robonthenet was founded and is still made today. But what goes on here? Who is this Rob and what makes him tick? Is he a sort of Willy Wonker, locking himself inside a magical building with a bunch of midgets in costumes dancing around and signing? Well we are going to find out for this is The Land of Rob. Now let us begin this new site by singing our national anthem, which was mainly written by Brins (seeing as I'm not very good at writting songs).

Oh land of Rob, I have a job
All thanks to Rob's employment plan.
My family, has cessed to be
All thanks to Rob's new cleansing plan.

Rob we owe you everything we own
For you gave it to us on loan.
Unfortunately I pay you not
And so tommorrow shall be shot.


What a lovely song isn't it. Saddly we never worked on any other verses, just one and the chorus. But there you go.